sick

Jonathan is really sick for the first time. He's had sniffles, runny nose, and scratchy throat before- but he got a fever on Monday and has had one off and on for the past few days. Poor little guy. I took him in for his 9 month appointment today and he doesn't have an ear infection or strep so no antibiotics- just lots of rest, milk, tylenol and TLC.

I feel sorry for him, and want to hold him while he is sleeping and make everything 'ok', but I have surprised myself in that my reaction is more along the lines of "poor little guy" and not "omg, omg, he's not gonna make it!!!". I am amazed at how I'm not (knock on wood) totally freaking out. When he was a newborn, I could not imagine what I would do if he got sick- he seemed so little and fragile. The fear of disease kept me up almost as many nights as the fear of SIDS. Now he seems more substantial (though the Dr says he is in the 10% for weight), but more substantial in terms of both mass and spirit. He has determination and stubbornness (mostly exhibited when trying to play with the dog's bowl against Mommy's wishes) that I can imagine translating to fighting sickness. Or maybe I'm just more confident that there is a little leeway in this whole parenting/growing-up thing- that one bad turn of events doesn't (usually) ruin the entire growing-up process.

I did, however, just devote an entire blog entry to me not freaking out about this. So maybe I'm not out of the woods on obsessing about him being sick just yet...