sibling laughter

One of my hopes for my children is that they will learn to love each other well.  That through their interactions they will learn compassion and selflessness and how to love another person.  I don't really know how to foster that kind of relationship, but I am hoping that I can model and guide them so as to plant the seeds of friendship between them.  As always I am learning as I go, but here is what I'm trying and thinking about lately.  (Plus a SUPER cute video of the most adorable kids ever laughing at the rain).

I know they will fight.  I know there will be biting and hitting and screaming.  Zoë has already started biting at Jonathan when he puts his matchbox cars out of her reach.  I've tried to help him be understanding that she is frustrated and doesn't have any other way to express it.  I've tried to explain that she doesn't know why she can't have the cars.  I've tried reminding him that he used to bite when he was a baby too.  And I've emphasized that we are always always always gentle with babies- even when they bite and push and cry.  And so far, he's gotten it- most of the time.  He is a good, protective big brother- but everyone has their limits.  I've had him help me think out loud about how to avoid conflict about his cars and his train-tracks (she currently sees a completed train track as an invitation to destruction).

But I don't want patience and conflict avoidance to define Jonathan's relationship with her.  So I've also tried really hard to include him in noticing the funny things she does and her accomplishments so that he feels pride in her being his baby.  And I've tried to point out the ways she interacts with him- when she giggles or babbles at him, when she mimics his noises or silly faces.  He loves being a ham and making her laugh, and I LOVE it when I see them laughing together.  Aren't they just about the cutest thing ever?!?

Family Memories

When I finally completed our family photo album for 2011 in February,  I was excited for it to be a keep-sake that would help me remember these crazy years of baby and toddler insanity where most days are just a blur.  I wanted to have a way to look back and remember the chubby curl of 2 year old toes and the gummy smile of a two-toothed baby and a handful of adorable stories without having to wade through disk upon disk of photos.  I was excited when it arrived, but fully expected to put it on a shelf and take it out in 5 years.

But it has now become one of our favorite bed-time books.  Jonathan LOVES reading it.  He wants us to tell a story about each picture and will find crazy background details and want explanation- like "what shoes am I wearing in that picture?  where are they now?"

They say real memories don't form until after about 3 years of age.  I know a lot of my own memories center on a single image that is probably in a photo-book somewhere or a rendition of a story I heard my parents or grandparents repeating around the dinner table.   And a lot of my sense of self is based the knowledge that this is MY family, that regardless of anything else I am a part of something and from somewhere.  These shared memories give me a place to belong even when I am far away and a sense of pride that goes beyond my self.

trick or treat

So this year, our little man had his first real Halloween experience.  And it was a hit.  I mean, really, a holiday that involves mainly getting to wear a costume and then have people give you large quantities of candy?  I'm not surprised that he deemed it his "favorite holiday".

Zoë donned the obligatory baby pumpkin costume (even though orange is really not her color).

And Jonathan went as a dragon.

This is actually his costume from last year, and I was super excited it fit again because the way his tail bobs when he walks in it is so cute I can barely stand it.

Our neighbors set up a miniature carnival that Jonathan loved.

And he went with Daddy to a few houses.

And was introduced to the concept of gluttony.

He has talked about trick-or-treating every day since halloween and often insists on wearing his costume for as much of the day as possible.

Beach

After a month of staying with us and being helpful in too many ways to count, my mom flew back to Minnesota this week.  She's only been gone a few days and I miss her so much that it hurts.  Not just for the practical help that she was- from staying up late to hold Zoë and let us get some sleep, to going grocery shopping, to playing silly games with Jonathan, etc- but also for the company.  I love that my mom and I can stay up late talking about nothing and everything every night for a month and it never gets old.  My relationship with her is something I cherish more than just about anything.  And I seriously hope that I am able to be the kind of mother to Zoë that my mother is to me.

The last week that my mom was here, my dad also flew in and we all packed up for a trip to the beach!  As stressful as it is to travel with small children (and despite some questionable weather), it was a wonderful and relaxing few days with family.

Thanks Mom and Dad!  You guys are fantastic grandparents and the best parents a girl could have.  I hope we can be half the parents that you guys are!  Love you and miss you tons!!

1 to 2

I am amazed at how fast the transition is from pregnant to mommy.  The few hours of labor and a 24 hour stay in the hospital and suddenly I am at home, a mother of two...

Yesterday I looked down at myself and found that I was sitting on the kitchen floor nursing a semi-fussy, squirmy Zoë in one hand while attempting to control the mess that was Jonathan discovering the feeling of squishing play-dough with his toes.  All I could think was "What have you gotten yourself into? This is going to be an entirely new level of chaos!"

But so far, the transition is going well.  Having my mom here is a god-send.

Between her and having Jim home on paternity leave last week, there has always been a free hand to give hugs, find snacks, and play with Jonathan while still rocking Zoë, cleaning up spit-up, and changing those ridiculously small diapers.

I still feel like there is a lot to learn about the logistics of how to do three things with two hands.  For example how to do bath time, or cook dinner, go to the grocery store, or wrangle two kiddos plus backpacks and lunch bags into preschool.  But while I'm sure there is a learning curve, I know we'll figure out a system that works.

My main concern about the transition from 1 child to 2 children was that Jonathan would feel replaced/ignored/neglected/jealous with the new little one needing so much and taking the attention from him.  Especially since he is something of a ham and has been quite a mommy's boy.  So I tried to prepare him for some of the changes ahead of time- that Mommy was going to have to go to the hospital for a few days to have the baby, that he could come visit us there, that sometimes babies cry, etc.  I brought a present for him with me to the hospital so he would associate it and the new baby with something nice.  I've been trying to phrase things so as to give him ownership of the baby- his sister, our baby, etc.  And I've been trying to go out of my way to notice what he is doing and give him attention even while I am taking care of Zoë.  And so far, so good.  He's had moments of jealousy (like when we went to church and were swarmed with people wanting to see the baby and not him), but mostly he is doing well.  He seems a touch more emotional and tired, but mostly he is is silly cheerful self- more interested in his ball-popper than in a sleeping baby.

But he has been so gentle and loving with her and so excited when she watches him play or he can comment on what she is doing.  Tonight he wanted to hold her and thought it was hilarious when she watched him play peek-a-boo with her.  He is a sweetheart and is going to be a great big brother!

We'll see what happens when some of the extra help goes away and 'real life' resumes!  But for now, as always, we are figuring it out one day at a time!

perfect outing

Yesterday was a fantastic day. Since my parents were in town, we decided to take Jonathan on an outing and take the paddle-boat pedestrian ferry across the river to the children's museum and then ride it back for a picnic lunch by the harbor. And it was perfect.

We arrived at the ferry before they had started running for the day, but Jonathan discovered to his delight that he could scare the seagulls by running towards them. He spent the 20 minutes we waited for the boat running back and forth across the docks after the birds, watching them flutter away and laughing with delight. The memory of his bouncing toddler run (where he looks like he might take-off after every step) accompanied by his perfect joy-filled laugh is one of the images I hope to never lose from my mind.

The boat itself was also a huge hit. The paddlewheel was mesmerizing and watching for the other boats and waving to the captain were all terrific.

And our little children's museum was a perfect destination. About an hour's worth of activity before heading back for lunch and nap-time.

It is amazing to me how having family in town motivates me to finally take adventures I've been pondering for moths and helps me enjoy even the simplest things more and take set backs with a little more ease. If only every day was so full of family, fun, and magic!!

Christmas 2010

So after being home for a week, I am finally putting up pictures from our Christmas trip. We had a great time!!

showing Jonathan how to crash his toy cars

sledding with Uncle Brian

sledding is fun, but hard to compete with shooting snowballs into a basketball hoop!

Being with family is great. It always reminds me about the important things and makes me so grateful for all of the blessings I have. I miss you guys already!!!

Thanksgiving

Here is wishing you and yours a happy Thanksgiving weekend!

weekend pics

Jonathan sporting his new kicks and new wheels!

Relaxing while Daddy was working

A Dukie at heart, Jonathan is already loving the basketball!

baby and the beach

Grandma and Grandpa from Minnesota are visiting this week for spring break and so it is a week of adventure. Today we went to the beach.

We stayed on the blanket at first....

and were a little unsure about sand...

but loved the wind and the sun and the water