Yesterday I looked down at myself and found that I was sitting on the kitchen floor nursing a semi-fussy, squirmy Zoë in one hand while attempting to control the mess that was Jonathan discovering the feeling of squishing play-dough with his toes. All I could think was "What have you gotten yourself into? This is going to be an entirely new level of chaos!"
But so far, the transition is going well. Having my mom here is a god-send.
Between her and having Jim home on paternity leave last week, there has always been a free hand to give hugs, find snacks, and play with Jonathan while still rocking Zoë, cleaning up spit-up, and changing those ridiculously small diapers.
I still feel like there is a lot to learn about the logistics of how to do three things with two hands. For example how to do bath time, or cook dinner, go to the grocery store, or wrangle two kiddos plus backpacks and lunch bags into preschool. But while I'm sure there is a learning curve, I know we'll figure out a system that works.
My main concern about the transition from 1 child to 2 children was that Jonathan would feel replaced/ignored/neglected/jealous with the new little one needing so much and taking the attention from him. Especially since he is something of a ham and has been quite a mommy's boy. So I tried to prepare him for some of the changes ahead of time- that Mommy was going to have to go to the hospital for a few days to have the baby, that he could come visit us there, that sometimes babies cry, etc. I brought a present for him with me to the hospital so he would associate it and the new baby with something nice. I've been trying to phrase things so as to give him ownership of the baby- his sister, our baby, etc. And I've been trying to go out of my way to notice what he is doing and give him attention even while I am taking care of Zoë. And so far, so good. He's had moments of jealousy (like when we went to church and were swarmed with people wanting to see the baby and not him), but mostly he is doing well. He seems a touch more emotional and tired, but mostly he is is silly cheerful self- more interested in his ball-popper than in a sleeping baby.
But he has been so gentle and loving with her and so excited when she watches him play or he can comment on what she is doing. Tonight he wanted to hold her and thought it was hilarious when she watched him play peek-a-boo with her. He is a sweetheart and is going to be a great big brother!
We'll see what happens when some of the extra help goes away and 'real life' resumes! But for now, as always, we are figuring it out one day at a time!
absolutely gorgeous gorgeous babies. congrats. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI don't know where you're finding the time to blog. Otherwise... this all sounds incredibly familiar. Pretty much identical, really. :-)
ReplyDeleteOh, except our car seats are on opposite sides. That's pretty much the only difference I could find... but it's a biggie.
ReplyDeleteI think that positive big brother spin can work wonders. Simon also didn't have much trouble with the transition, and I think that's because we constantly talked (and talk) about how cool he is as a big brother. We've also been talking up bunk beds since before Jude was born, so I'm hoping for a smooth transition to room sharing in the near future.
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