Typical example: We are eating lunch and after having a taste of my cottage cheese, Jonathan decides he likes it. So I feed him all of mine, spoonful by spoonful (without having any myself for fear he won't get his fill) until it is gone. Then I feel mildly guilty for having eaten any since he now wants more and we are out, and leave lunch a little hungry.
Prioritizing obtaining food for your child = good.
Guilt about enjoying a spoonful of cottage cheese = bad.
Today my yoga class was scheduled to go an extra 30 minutes to incorporate a breathing workshop. And I almost decided not to go because it would mean that Jim would *have* to watch Jonathan for another 30 min after I had (selfishly) been at work all day. (it sounds crazier and crazier to me even as I type it). But I needed to work out and to relax and this was the perfect solution. Jim convinced me I should go (he knows what I need better than I do most of the time) and so I did. It was fantastic. It was exactly what I needed. And no one suffered because I was out of the house for 90 minutes. Why can I only see these things in hindsight?
I heard a sermon once reminding us to secure our own mask before assisting others. It's one of those things that makes sense on a rational level, but mothering and feeling selfish (or being female and feeling selfish) don't happen on a rational level.
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