Which way to up?

Being Mother's Day and the day after Jonathan's 1st birthday seems like an appropriate day to reflect and rejoice in all that has happened in the past year. But with a SUPER cranky baby today, I don't feel all squishy and happy and reflective. I just feel annoyed. After a very edgy, super mercurial morning Baby J is down for his 'afternoon' nap early (can you call it an afternoon nap at 11:30?) and based on this morning, I am not optimistic about the rest of the day. My mind imagines his first birthday party going down in a screaming crying mess and I just want to crawl back under the covers and start the day over again. Not true. What I really want is to not have 9 stitches on my thumb so that I can do normal and necessary things like washing the mess of dishes in the sink and shampooing my hair. Grrr. Happy Mothers Day to me.