5 things

Being back to work this week after Christmas break has been tough.  Crazy busy, crazy stress, crazy tired.  And to add to the fun, Zoë has been sleeping really poorly this week.  Perhaps because we are slowly transitioning her to a new bed, perhaps because she is going through a growth spurt (she drank 9oz of milk yesterday at lunchtime).  Who knows.  But the result is that I have been feeling a bit desperate.

I collapsed last night feeling alone, exhausted, depressed, and like my life was totally out of control.  Unfortunately my computer was on and within arms reach and I was seduced by etsy (where spending money makes you feel like you are contributing to society) and amazon-one-click (way too easy).  Which added guilt to my list of maladies.

I woke up this morning feeling lousy.  Crabby, tired, and crabby.  Plus crabby.  As I sat glowering over my oatmeal I decided I needed to do something to rescue this day.  So I resolved that rather than returning to the internet buying debacle of last night, I would try to spend the day focusing on finding things that made me smile and savoring them.  So, here are my top 5:

1) Watching Jonathan put play-dough in his garlic press.  Yes, his garlic press.  The combination (play-dough + press) were in his Christmas stocking because he had been stealing mine so often from the kitchen.  He loves putting wads of play-dough through it and watching the 'hair' grow.  And I love watching his rapt concentration as he does this over and over and over.  Plus the play-dough hair is pretty cool feeling.

2) Baby girl mary-jane socks + legging.  LOVE.

3) Lunch. (You know food was going to make it in here somewhere).  But my sandwich today was perfect.  Toast with kale pesto, (leftover) roasted mushrooms, egg, and mustard.  And I managed to get the egg perfect- where the yolk is still just a tiny bit runny.  

4)  Zoë's quilt.  A dear friend made this for her and I love it.  We use it every day for tummy time and just playing and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

5) Watching Jonathan and Daddy raking.  So many reasons here.  It was warm enough for me to sit out in flip-flops and watch my fantastic husband play with an adorable little boy while doing yard work while I was sitting on the deck playing with a baby.

The remarkable part is that even before I had actually found something to smile about, I was feeling better.  It turns out that turning my focus from "how am I going to make it through the day?" to "what am I really happy with in my life?" makes life a lot more fun.

As I type this I have rocked a screaming Zoë back to sleep twice (and she's only been in bed for 2 hours)- so the night isn't off to a good start.  But the day really was a good one.  And so maybe tonight I'll be able to remember how rocking a healthy adorable baby to sleep isn't so bad.  Even in the middle of the night.