About a month ago DH and I both started feeling uncomfortable with our credit card bill. Not only because most of my maternity leave is unpaid, though that was a factor. I felt uncomfortable with what spending that amount of money said about us- about what we value and what we let define us. I don't know how many times a day I would log on to amazon, but having some new thing was my solution to any problem. I get a huge thrill out of knowing that a package is on the way, and amazon one-click is WAY too easy. I found myself looking around and valuing myself based on the things that surrounded me rather than who I am. Buying something new was like a drug- I needed just a little hit every day to make me feel OK. And at the same time, I felt like we were being overrun with stuff. Drawers, cabinets, shelves are literally overflowing with stuff that we don't use, but have "just in case".
So we decided to see if we could go for one whole month without spending any money on things besides groceries, toiletries and child related necessities (shoes when Jonathan suddenly outgrew his tennies; warm sleepers for Zoë when the temperatures dropped, etc). We have almost completed our month and have been remarkably successful in keeping to our goal. I couldn't help myself and bought a stuffed elephant for Zoë that was just too cute and we stopped for fast food once. And now that our month is almost over, I am thinking about how it has affected me.
The first, and most obvious, thing is that I have stopped impulse buying. And I like it. I hate the feeling of unpacking your bags when you get home and looking at that item that was only $1.99, but you know you don't need and have no space for. I like knowing that the things in my bag are things we need, not just things we want.
But the bigger thing that I have noticed is that I find my mind a little calmer a little more of the time. Since there is no point for me to make a mental shopping list for much of anything or to plan projects, I have found myself being in the moment a little more often- whether that moment is playing with Jonathan, being spit-up on, or enjoying the rare quiet when the kids are both napping at the same time. And I am really enjoying that extra space to just be. I would like more of it.
So I definately think one month was good, but not enough to get me to where I want to be. I want that mental space to be permanent. I want to not even be tempted with those impulse buys. I want less clutter. And I think my thought patterns will take a lot more than one month to change. I'm not sure yet what this will look like going forward, but I am hoping we will work out a way to keep these changes going.
After I bought a house and a car in the same month, I went on what I called my "spend nothing ever again" financial plan, and I also found in remarkably liberating. There's no decision about whether to buy something... it's just no. I did compromise and pay myself for mowing the lawn. I discovered I like having an allowance.
ReplyDeleteWow - Krista! I am inspired! Congratulations and good luck!
ReplyDeleteAllison, I like the allowance idea. That would make this more sustainable on the longer term. How much did you give yourself? And how often did you mow? I would have the best cared for lawn on the block!
ReplyDeleteI figured I'd have to pay a kid $20, so why should they get it and not me? But by the time I moved in and got a mower, it was later in the summer, so I only mowed every 2 weeks, which I'm not sure would be a reasonable amount long-term if it included eating out. It was enough for the small, impulse stuff like coffee, craft stuff, and "I hate packing lunch but that's OK, I can pick it up somewhere."
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