Christmas Projects

In my mind the evenings before Christmas are filled with quiet egg-nog drinking and relaxing in front of a sparkling tree. In actuality the evenings are usually filled with exhaustion and chaos, half-completed projects and a constant stress that not everything will get done perfectly. I make mental lists, but never seem to make progress in checking them off because my brain adds projects faster than I can complete them. To be clear, I love projects and crafts. The process of imagining and creating things is one of the things that makes me feel the most alive inside. However, I typically have no discernment about how many things I can take on at once. And I never give myself a break. (Perfectionism is one of the things I used to talk to my therapist about on almost every visit.) I am trying really really hard this year, however, to not beat myself up about not getting it all done and take the time to sit back and enjoy my time with Jonathan. So if you don't get our Christmas card until January, assume it is because I was taking the time to help Jonathan play with our nativity scene or enjoy the magic of Christmas lights.

That being said, I still have a list of projects to complete before Friday, and I finished the most major one today. Years ago, before there was a Jonathan on the horizon, I hand quilted stockings for Jim and myself. Back in those days I had the time to piece a complicated pattern, hand quilt it and embroider our initials. Back in those days I couldn't really imagine why I wouldn't be able to do the same if and when we were adding stockings to our mantle. This year when I realized the time commitment in making one for Jonathan, I almost threw them out bought new ones for all three of us. But I love our stockings and I love that I made them. So last week I braved the snowstorm and took Jonathan to the fabric store to pick out some new fabrics. And after spending hours in the evenings and during nap times, today I finished the final stitches!!

Who knows if I will finish knitting hats and beading necklaces and baking cookies and writing cards. But Jonathan has a stocking and a Mommy who has resolved to enjoy the magic of the season!!