making his own magic

One of my favorite mommy-blogs is always going on and on about play-dough.  She has bagillions of recipes for various colors, scented play-dough, play-dough with glitter, etc.  It always looks amazing.  And her little girls are always doing amazing and creative things with it.  But the problem is that my little boy isn't wild about play-dough the way her little girls are.  He likes it fine- once and a while- mostly for mashing and smashing.  But doesn't ever seem to notice the color or the scent (boy-girl thing?  who knows).  It just doesn't capture his imagination and creativity.

But recently he has started getting interested in leggos- and I see that same creative spark and imaginative play emerging.

I love watching him play with his leggos- tongue out, full body concentration.

From the beginning I have tried to steer clear of toys that whiz and bang and play songs.  At first it was out of a selfish desire to not hear all of those obnoxious noises over and over and over and over and over.  But as I have watched Jonathan grow without them, I am really glad that he is learning to make his own magic with simpler toys.  Imagining garbage-trucks out of cardboard boxes and a boat out of the laundry basket requires him to learn how to stir up his own creativity in a way that banging on his ball-popper doesn't.  And, for him, leggos are a great outlet for imaginative play.

We build a lot of vehicles- airplanes, cars, trains.  And a lot of things to be knocked down or crashed.  (The slide has become the crash-test location of choice.)

And while I still help him a bit with the original creations, he is usually able to play "mechanic" after the crashes!

Easter

Easter is such a lovely holiday.  Sunny and pastel.  Flowers budding, blue skies, children smiling, voices singing in joy.  Celebration of life.  Or at least that is how I hope the photos will remember it this year.  But the truth about this Easter was that it was NOT a banner day.    So despite how it will appear in our photo album, this is how the day went...

Jonathan woke up early and so we had a chance to do our egg-hunt and find his Easter basket and have breakfast before Zoe woke up at 7:15.   But when I insisted that he eat more than 2 bites of breakfast before delving into Easter candy- tantrum #1.

We had time to experiment with our new water-color set before church.  But then when it was time to put on church clothes- tantrum #2.

We got to church early enough to park 2 blocks away instead of 3.  And when we got out of the car sans stroller and I told Jonathan that, no, I could not carry him and Zoë all the way to church- tantrum #3.

We found Daddy outside and got a lovely photo.  And I am sure the service was equally lovely.  But it happened to coincide with Zoë's morning nap- and she no longer naps well on the go.  So I experienced the service from the cry-room mostly to the tune of a beautifully dressed 7 month old screaming.  She finally fell asleep with 15 minutes left in the service.  I debated staying there in that cry-room for another hour, rocking my baby and letting her nap.  But I didn't.  I picked Jonathan up from Sunday school and when he learned that a) he could only have ONE pastry in the fellowship-hall and that b) he would need to walk back to the car- tantrum #4.

We finally got home; Zoe finally fell back asleep (nap schedule thrown to the wind).  And Jonathan and I finally sat down for lunch.  As Jonathan chewed his apple I was surrounded by quiet for the first time since 6:30am.  I sighed and rested my head on the table for just a moment.  Until the silence was broken by Jonathan's question-- "Why did Jesus have to die?"

Really?  Couldn't these questions be arranged in advance and planned for days when I have NOT been screamed at all morning?  But no, that is not how life goes- there are no dress rehearsals or study sessions before the exam.  BLAM it just hits you in the face when you are least prepared and you have to give it what you've got left and pray for grace.

I know I should probably end this post with a sunny Easter message.  But here is the truth- Life with kiddos is exhausting.  And I am exhausted.  I try to treasure every moment- because I love those coos and "da-da-da"s and all of those questions about heaven and god and firetrucks.  And I try to live out peace and love and compassion.  But I am not at my "A" game right now.  In fact, I don't remember what my "A" game feels like.  So at the end of the day- I regroup and treasure the good moments, thank God for my blessings, and pray for grace.

So, how's she sleeping?

Some babies seem to have a nack for sleeping right from the start.  Mine have not.  I would like to attribute this to my children's intelligence and overly active little brains, but it is actually probably more likely due to our over sensitive parenting style.

When Jonathan was a baby, we were clueless new parents.  I recall having an acute sense that there was a major error made when I was chosen to care for this tiny creature and there was always a lurking sense that I was completely incompetent.  I expected someone from the hospital to show up at the door at any moment to take him back.  When he cried, I panicked.  This was a clear and obvious signal that I was, indeed, incapable of adequately caring for this baby.  So if he fussed in his crib at all, we were immediately there to scoop him up and comfort him to sleep.  I remember spending countless anxious, exhausted nights desperately rocking him to sleep for the third or fourth time and then trying to inch him into his crib willing those little eyes to stay closed.  He got sleepy when he ate, so I nursed him to sleep every night.  He was a small baby, so we were constantly nervous he wasn't getting enough to eat- so it was inconceivable that he would survive more than a few hours without eating.  So I nursed him back to sleep every time he woke during the night.  All of that meant that he learned to fall asleep only if he was being held or eating.  After 11 months of up every 3-4 hours we finally took the advice of the "Sleep Lady" and taught Jonathan how to fall asleep on his own using her "sleep-lady-shuffle"

So while I was pregnant with Zoë I resolved to do things differently and I developed several cardinal rules we would follow from the begining:

• I would NOT let her fall asleep for naps or nighttime while nursing.

• I would start putting her into the crib "drowsy but awake" as soon as possible at bedtime and during middle of the night feedings.

• I would learn to tolerate a bit of fussing in the crib.

• We would start a bedtime routine early and watch her carefully to determine her natural bed-time.

And, while far from perfect, Zoë has been a much better sleeper.  At 3 months it became clear that after 6pm she was just too tired to cope well, so that became her bedtime and she would sleep *most* nights from 6:30pm-7am getting up once.  We've had to employ other strategies on a few other occasions- like helping her fall back to sleep without feeing her when she started waking up twice per night around 4 months- but these 4 rules have served us well.

Now at 6 months I would love to be reporting that she was flawlessly sleeping through the night and napping like a pro.  She isn't.  But I can see a full night's sleep in my near future; and while the afternoon nap needs some work, her morning nap is beautiful.