Snow!

Where we live, snow is a rare thing.  So when flakes started falling yesterday around dinnertime, it was a BIG deal- Jonathan and I sat and watched flakes for a long time.  And when we woke up this morning, the ground was covered with a thin sheet of snow.

When Jonathan peeked out of the window and saw it, he was so excited he started dancing wildly around the kitchen.

Then he looked me straight in the eyes and said.  "There is snow!!  It must be wintertime today!" Indeed.  With his logic, this probably our day of winter this year.  So as soon as breakfast was over, we bundled up and headed out.  

Jonathan reveled in running and hearing his shoes crunch in the still air, I reveled in the cold blue sky and the way winter makes long shadows on the new white.  Zoë was a good sport.

We didn't last long out in the cold.  But you have to seize the moment around here- because the snow was gone by lunchtime.  

new sensory bowl

This weekend I finally got around to doing some creative hands-on fun at home.  Life has been so insane the past 3 weeks, that I have really been dragging in the afternoons.  We play pretend games about hiding in bear caves and airplanes and garbage trucks and he gets his hands dirty helping me cook dinner most nights, but I haven't had the energy to pull out the paints or play-dough or do a fun project for a while.  So on Friday I treated myself to a 30 minute, $5 field trip to the dollar store to pick up some fun.   I filled my bag with mardi-gras beads, cotton balls, tiny shiny bows, colored shredded paper, and a new big bowl.  I got home, cut up the necklaces, dumped, added a cardboard tube- and viola! a new sensory tub waiting for Jonathan to wake up from his nap.

He loved it.  He immediately dumped it out on the table and began filling the tube, sorting the beads, and squishing the paper and cotton balls.  It kept him fascinated and experimenting for a full hour!! 

Just love that rapt concentration!  And he kept asking to take it out again all weekend. He referred to it as "that surprise thing that Mommy made for me".  

little portfolios

One of my favorite things about my life at the moment are the days that Jonathan brings home his artwork from preschool.  They display it all month in their classroom and then, one day, they take it down and he comes home wit his art folder jammed into his pint-sized backpack- over flowing with construction paper, glitter, googly-eyes, and pom-poms.

I love these days because when we get home, Jonathan is SO excited to show me his projects.

He takes each one out of his folder like it is an old friend and usually with an exclamation "My penguin!!"

I ask him about what is in the picture and how he made it, and I love these tiny little insights into his classroom and thoughts.  For example a lot of their January art featured cozy images adorned with batting.  Our conversation was something like:
Jonathan:  This wool makes it cozy and warm because a sheepy got stuck here
Me: The sheepy got stuck there?
Jonathan: Yes, because I glued him to the page.

I love that his classroom is a place where they do fun art projects and are creative and that his teacher integrates their reading books with their art and their songs and their play.  (In January they were all about going on a bear hunt, so we have lots of bear art- including a set of bear ears- and they built a bear cave out of a box that they would take turns hiding in and sneaking up on when they were hunting the bear). I love that he gets that at school, because honestly as much as I know how important art and messiness is, I just don't have the patience or creativity manage art projects between work and dinner on the average night.

bear sleeping in his cave

After he shows me his art, he usually decides where each one should go- a large pile on the sofa, some on the kitchen floor, some on the table.

And while the mess of that eventually drives me crazy, I love stumbling upon these little treasures for the rest of the evening.

frazzle

Lately I feel like I am struggling to get through each day in tact.  I consciously remind myself multiple times a day that I can only deal with the things on my plate today- tomorrow's stuff will have to wait.  There are not enough hours in the day or energy in my bones to tackle it all.  I am just a bit frazzled at all times.  I have the energy to follow the plan, but beyond that there isn't much gas in the engine.  Surprises and last minute decisions are really not something I handle with grace.  So two unplanned disasters of this afternoon have left me a little raw and unglued.

But somehow I got dinner on the table and the kids are in bed and I managed not to scream at anyone or break down in tears like I really wanted to.  It was finally quiet in our living room and I sat down to go through the mail.  Today we happened to get a glut of cataloges. I normally chuck them without a second glance but today the shiny pages sucked me in.   As I paged through the glossy images of perfect tans and care-free smiles I felt tears welling up in my eyes.  I wanted desperately to be sucked into the world within those pages.  A world where I feel put together and, if not glamorous, at least clean and pressed- with no spit-up in my hair, or bags under my eyes, and an outfit that fits and doesn't have a half-chewed goldfish ground into my knees.  I want to be swept into a shiny house with fresh-cut flowers on the coffee table and where dog hair does not waft across the floor and where you do not trip over legos and jungle animals and baby rattles.

I know it is all an illusion- but wouldn't it be nice?  Except that I think I would miss the sleeping snuffling of the baby next to me when I slept.  And the noisy thump-thump-thump of toddler feet running through the house.  So for as rough as I feel tonight, I am glad I am here.  This crazy phase of my life will pass, and I will miss it.